Love and Payne Read online

  “Zach.” It was nothing more than a whisper, but Zach heard him. He opened the door just wide enough to step inside the room before closing the door behind him. The space was big enough for two, with several hooks on one wall and an extrawide cushioned bench that ran from one end of the changing room to the other. On the third wall was a cabinet stocked with protein bars and several flavors of Gatorade. Zach reached for one of the Gatorade bottles first and twisted the cap open. Austen expected Zach to stand over him to help him drink, but he didn’t. He took a seat on the bench beside Austen, placing one large hand to the back of Austen’s head while he brought the bottle to Austen’s mouth, gently tilting it.

  Austen slowly sipped at the drink. He closed his eyes in the hopes of tamping down the overwhelming desire to lean into Zach. His body radiated warmth, and Austen was shivering. Fuck. He just couldn’t get warm. Suddenly Zach pulled the drink away and dragged himself on the bench until he was against the wall.

  “Come here,” Zach said softly, reaching for Austen, who stiffened, but he allowed Zach to pull him between his spread legs. He wrapped Austen in his tree-trunk arms, his chest pressed against Austen’s back. Zach nuzzled the side of his head, murmuring by his ear and sending a shiver through Austen that had nothing to do with the cold. “I’m just helping you get warm. The second you are, I’ll stop. I promise. No funny business.”

  Austen was about to protest, but his body was already feeling the effects of Zach’s proximity, and it felt so damn good.

  “Just until I get warm,” Austen grumbled, his voice still rough from postshift. “Not one second longer.”

  “You have my word,” Zach said before lifting the Gatorade bottle for Austen to drink.

  Feeling strong enough to hold the bottle himself, he took it from Zach. He heard the crinkle of a wrapper, followed by Zach holding out an open protein bar. Austen took it, and they sat in silence as he ate and drank. He’d expected awkwardness, but there wasn’t any. Zach never felt the need to fill the silence. In fact, most of the time he was quiet. Austen noticed how Zach was open and chatty when it came to his family, but other than that, he was more often than not the strong silent type. Before this whole incident with Barlow, Zach had never spoken more than a few sentences at a time to Austen. He tended to lose himself in his own thoughts. Was he opening up to Austen because he trusted him? There had to be some kind of trust. Why else would Zach want him here with his family?

  Zach’s warmth permeated every inch of Austen’s skin. In that moment, Austen felt as if nothing could touch him, and he relaxed against Zach. He’d never felt that before, and most certainly not with a Therian of Zach’s size. It made him realize how on edge he always was. Always ready to make a break for it. One foot out the door just in case. It was exhausting. What if for once he ran toward something instead of away? Zach wasn’t like the rest of them. He would never take advantage of Austen.

  Would he?

  Austen swallowed hard. “I’m warm now.”

  Zach placed a feathery kiss on Austen’s temple before he carefully moved out from behind Austen, taking the warmth with him. Austen sneaked a glance over at Zach to see if he was pissed or annoyed, but he saw no sign Austen had upset him at all. In fact, Zach was smiling as he reached for Austen’s clothes. He turned and laid them on the bench.

  “There you go. If you need anything, I’ll be just outside.”

  Austen nodded as Zach stepped out of the dressing room and closed the door behind him.

  It had to be a fluke, but then that was twice Zach had the opportunity to see Austen naked, to initiate something Austen’s fuzzy brain would have probably been too weak to stop after his shift. Zach hadn’t. He’d given Austen what he needed and took nothing in return.

  “We were all going to hang out tonight in the media room, have a few drinks,” Zach said from the other side of the door. “Would you and Brayden maybe want to join us?”

  Austen opened his mouth to reply when Brayden interjected.

  “We’ll be there.”

  Austen pushed the door open and popped his head out to glare at Brayden. Zach looked at Austen, but as soon as Austen opened his mouth, Brayden flicked him in the ear.

  “Ow! Fuck! Yes, fine. We’ll be there,” Austen hissed, narrowing his eyes at his stupid friend, who was too damn happy for his own good.

  Zach bit down on his bottom lip, most likely so he wouldn’t laugh. The big jerk. “Okay. Great.” He was a little flushed, and when he took a step to the side, he faltered. Austen was immediately at his side, an arm around Zach’s waist, and thankfully Brayden had done the same.

  “Zach, what’s wrong?”

  “Sorry, I think I just pushed myself a little too hard again.”

  “Okay, after your mom feeds everyone, you’re going upstairs to lie down for a while.”

  “But—”

  “Nope.” Austen shook his head. “Wait here. I’m going to get dressed, and then we’re taking you to the kitchen, and after you eat we’ll take you upstairs to your room. You’re supposed to be taking it easy, remember?”

  Zach frowned. “I have. It’s the first time I’ve shifted since before all this, and I feel better already. The shift back just took a little more out of me than I expected. Once I’ve eaten, I’m sure I’m going to feel like my old self.”

  Austen arched an eyebrow at him. “Do I need to tell your mother?” The threat was met with wide eyes before Zach’s cheeks went pink and he shook his head. “That’s what I thought. Now hold on a minute while I put some clothes on.” Austen ducked into the changing room and quickly got dressed. They ignored Zach’s grumbling and pouting as they escorted him to the kitchen, which was bustling as Iona, Sheena, Isobel, and Coby were getting mounds of food served for everyone. Austen normally ate in his room, but the scent of all that delicious food had him salivating, and he just wanted to eat.

  Austen took a seat at the dining table big enough for an army. It was so huge it had its own room. Brayden sat to his left, and Edan sat beside Brayden. Zach sat to Austen’s right. It was such a surreal experience, sitting at a table filled with a loud, boisterous family, all of them talking, laughing, and teasing each other. They passed dishes around, served each other, stole bites from one another’s plates. What stunned him most was that not once did anyone look at him as if he didn’t belong there. Una stretched across the table and passed him the potatoes while Edan reached over Brayden to give Austen one of the bread baskets while he continued to chat with Brayden. Iona appeared behind Zach, asking him if he wanted more of the beef brisket. Zach nodded, and Iona served him, following up with a kiss to his head. She smiled at Austen, asking him the same. He nodded, and she served him some more, then patted his shoulder affectionately before moving on to Brayden.

  Colin was telling a story about a crazy case they’d worked on, and everyone was laughing.

  “I’m sure no one has crazier stories than Austen,” Zach said. “He worked with Destructive Delta, after all.” Zach winked at Austen, and instead of feeling annoyed that he’d been brought into the conversation, Austen felt… touched. He nodded and laughed before breaking into a story involving Dex, a grenade launcher, and a gummy bear. Everyone was in tears laughing at the shenanigans of Destructive Delta. No one had a knack for attracting chaos, or ending up in the weirdest of situations, like his team. When the conversation turned to Bram’s misadventures in dating, Zach leaned in to Austen, speaking so only he could hear.

  “You must miss them.”

  Austen swallowed hard. He hadn’t really allowed himself to think about it. He nodded. “They made my job fun.” They were also more than just a team to him.

  With Dex and Sloane moving on to TIN, Destructive Delta had undergone huge changes. Sloane’s best friend and second had been promoted to Team Leader, and while Dex and Sloane would still be working out of THIRDS HQ, their new roles were only a cover. The team itself had become the THIRDS’ first International Training Team, which would be helping other THIRDS teams who
’d suffered great loss and were in need of guidance. How a hothead like Ash Keeler was the best fit was anyone’s guess, but Sloane trusted Ash wholeheartedly and wouldn’t leave his team in anyone else’s hands. Technically, Austen was still Destructive Delta’s SSA, but these days he was doing more TIN work than anything.

  “When was the last time you saw Sloane?”

  “The wedding,” Austen replied. “They’ve been training for their new roles since they got back from their honeymoon.”

  Zach had no idea the training they were actually undergoing was for TIN and not the THIRDS. Besides Sparks, and of course Dex’s dad, Sergeant Maddock, the only ones who knew Dex and Sloane had become TIN operatives were the team and a select few outside of it. Austen missed the days of popping up to see what crazy Destructive Delta was getting into. Then he reminded himself that Sloane was the closest thing to family he had and he was welcome in Sloane and Dex’s home anytime. Any distance placed between Austen and his friends was self-imposed.

  Maybe it was time to change that.

  CHAPTER 9

  ZACH SAT on the plush armchair and undid the laces of his boots, groaning at the soreness of his body. Yet he couldn’t get the dopey smile off his face. As much as he tried to fight against having to come upstairs to rest for a while, he admitted Austen was right. But it felt so damned good having Austen there with him at his family’s dinner table. It felt right. At first, he’d worried Austen would leave him once they reached the kitchen, to run off upstairs to eat in his room like he tended to do, but Austen surprised the hell out of him by joining him in the dining room with the rest of his family. Austen even joined in the conversations. Zach had been stupidly happy, and he couldn’t wait for tonight. He hoped Austen was still up for it.

  Once his socks were off, Zach stood and removed his sweater, then dropped it onto the armrest. His T-shirt came next. He stopped in front of the freestanding mirror and carefully twisted his body to inspect his stitches and bruises. They were starting to change color. Gently he ran his fingers over his ribs, sliding them over his chest and abdomen, checking for any tenderness. He glanced up in the mirror to get a better look at himself and caught sight of a figure outside on the balcony.

  Austen.

  Thanks to the design of the house, the room next door—where Austen was staying—stuck out enough that anyone who stood at the end of the balcony could see into Zach’s room if the curtains were completely open, as they were now.

  Austen stood with his back ramrod straight, his eyes slightly wide, and his bottom lip between his teeth. Their eyes met in the mirror, and Zach decided to take a chance while he had Austen’s attention. He lifted his lips in a sinful smile. His mother always warned him that if he played with fire, he’d get burned. Well, all he had to say to that was burn, baby, burn.

  Zach tilted his head, motioning Austen over, and received a delayed, barely there headshake. With a shrug, Zach closed his eyes and let his head fall back, allowing the heat to roll through him. He’d never been so bold, but if Austen wanted to watch, Zach would give him one hell of a show. He could feel Austen’s eyes on him, and a shiver went through his body. He’d never done anything like this in his life. He was a private person and somewhat shy, but something about the sexy cheetah Therian made him want to lose himself.

  Zach ran his hands slowly up his abdomen and over his stomach muscles to his pecs; he tweaked one nipple and let out a low moan. When he opened his eyes, Austen was still there watching him, his hand on his groin as he adjusted himself. The thought that Austen might be hard from watching him spurred Zach on. He unfastened the button of his jeans and gingerly pushed them down, his eyes never leaving Austen as he shoved them under his ass.

  Carefully, he bent over and slid his jeans the rest of the way down. He glanced over his shoulder at Austen, who had one hand on his crotch, the other gripping the balcony railing in what appeared to be a death grip. From here, Zach could see Austen’s eyes were so dark they were almost black. Zach straightened and kicked his jeans away from him, remaining in his gray boxer briefs. He stood in front of the mirror once more, eyes on Austen as he widened his stance, loving how Austen’s eyes widened in response.

  Zach slipped his fingers into the waistband of his boxer briefs and pushed them down, freeing his hard, thick cock. It bounced and jutted up near his stomach. Zach groaned at the gasp Austen let out. Austen’s lips parted before he ran a tongue over his bottom lip, his gaze aimed at Zach’s hard length. Zach left his underwear beneath his ass. The tip of his cock pearled with precome, and he used it to ease the friction as he slid his hand down his painfully hard erection. His muscles tensed and flexed as he moved his left hand up and down his cock, his right hand sliding back up his body, his fingers ghosting over his nipple before he tweaked it again. A groan escaped him as he worked himself over, and his breath hitched when he saw Austen unbutton his jeans.

  “Fuck,” Zach growled, his movements quicker as Austen slipped his hand into the red underwear peeking through the fly of his unzipped jeans. He licked at his lips again, and he lifted his eyes to Zach, his face flushed as their eyes met. No way in hell Zach was going to last long. He began to pump his fist frantically, his hand slick with precome as he jacked himself off, his eyes never leaving Austen, whose warm panting breath became visible in the cold air.

  Austen’s expression was one of erotic pleasure, and Zach would have given anything to scoop the man up in his arms and make a meal of those plump lips. Tremors of desire rippled through Zach as he imagined what he would do to Austen, given the chance. What sounds would Austen make if Zach trailed his tongue all over that delicious skin? Would he arch his back from beneath Zach as Zach swallowed his cock? Would he fuck Zach’s mouth, beg him not to stop, his body shaking as he poured himself down Zach’s throat? The thought alone had Zach’s orgasm barreling into him, and he grabbed the edge of the mirror as he squeezed his cock while come shot over his chest. He quickly looked at the mirror and cursed under his breath as Austen leaned into the rail as he came, his delectable lips parted and his whole body shaking.

  When Zach’s legs felt somewhat sturdy again, he straightened, his eyes on Austen as he slid his finger up his chest through the trail of come, and grinned wickedly when Austen jerked up. He took a step forward as Zach placed his finger into his mouth and sucked it clean. Austen clearly cursed. He cast Zach a glare before pulling up his underwear, turning, and storming off into his room. Zach smiled and headed for his en suite bathroom, where he took a shower and got himself off again at the memory of Austen jerking off. Once he was done and dried himself, he pulled on a pair of loose black pajama bottoms and a charcoal-gray henley. He set his alarm so he wouldn’t oversleep.

  After crawling into bed, he snuggled up against his pillow as his phone buzzed with an incoming call. He picked it up and frowned at the screen. Caller Unknown.

  “Hello?”

  “You’re an asshole.”

  Zach chuckled at the grumpy growl. “You saying you didn’t enjoy the show?” There was a pause.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Just checking.”

  Silence spread between them, yet it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. Zach could happily lie there listening to Austen breathe.

  “So… what are you wearing?” Austen’s tone was playful, and Zach let out a bark of laughter.

  “Loose pajama bottoms and a henley.”

  Austen groaned. “Great. Another one of your barely fits shirts.”

  “Another one of my what?” Zach asked, unable to hold back another laugh at the sound of Austen’s huff.

  “Your shirts. They’re always so… suggestive. What, they don’t make shirts in your size?”

  Suggestive? The idea that Austen paid attention to what Zach wore had Zach grinning from ear to ear like a dope. “They do make shirts in my size. It’s what I wear.”

  “Clearly not, since your big burly muscles are always straining against the fabric when you move.”

 
“And you would know that because?” You watch how I move.

  Austen cursed under his breath, realizing he’d been caught. “Yeah, okay, so I watch you. You’re kinda hard to miss, and I mean who in their right mind wouldn’t be distracted by all those manly muscles. Seriously.”

  “I’m glad you like my manly muscles,” Zach teased.

  “Fuck you.”

  “Is that a promise?”

  An audible gasp came over the line before it went silent. Austen was quiet for so long, Zach thought maybe he’d hung up.

  “You still there?”

  “Yeah, sorry. You, um… you bottom?”

  “Why do you sound so surprised?”

  “I didn’t think…. Guys your size tend to want to top, and I don’t bottom, so I avoid sex with Therians bigger than me. I know that’s generalizing, but I really don’t give a fuck.”

  Zach was taken aback by Austen’s honesty. “Can I ask why? Is it a preference?”

  “No.”

  “No, I can’t ask, or no, it’s not a preference?”

  Austen let out a sigh. “Look, I don’t get involved with Therians bigger than me. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to be fucked. I can’t…. I need to be in control.”

  Zach considered Austen’s words. It struck him then that Austen was afraid. Afraid of losing control to someone bigger than him, of being overpowered. It was obvious now. The way he kept bringing up size. How determined he’d been to show Caley that strength meant more than size.

  “I understand, and I’m sorry.”

  “What the hell are you sorry for?”

  “I’m sorry you were hurt.” The thought had Zach balling his hand into a fist. Whoever had hurt Austen had hurt him deep.

  “I need to go.”

  “Wait, please,” Zach said, sitting up, his voice just above a whisper. “We don’t need to talk about it. Don’t hang up. Not yet.”